The SPL but with bands


So, the new season of the Scottish Premier League kicks off tomorrow. That seems like something I can make into a post.

Plan A was to find a band that supported each team. That plan went right out the window as soon as I realised that I have no idea what bands support anyone but three or four clubs, so instead you are getting a band from the relevant town or city, or as close as I can get at least.

I still ended up struggling a bit, if you support any of the teams in the SPL and have a better suggestion let me know.

Aberdeen: Sorry Dons, right now the best I can offer you is Lily Allen, and I doubt her credentials.

Celtic: Loads to choose from for this one and one of the few Scottish clubs that seem to have musicians happy to admit to supporting. I won’t risk pissing off a chunk of my visitors by suggesting that this is because Celtic are brilliant. Oops…
Anyway, our band of choice for Celtic are Mogwai, since they seem to especially enjoy annoying Rangers supporters on their website. In the interest of fairness – see the Rangers entry – we’ve got some rubbish fans too, Martine McCutcheon for example.

Dundee United: About half of Deacon Blue are Dundee United fans, so that’s who you are stuck with.

Falkirk: You’ve got Arab Strap in the “I don’t know who supports you, here’s a band from the town” draw.

Hamilton Academical: Right about now I’m thinking this was a terrible idea. You have been randomly selected Teenage Fanclub since Bellshill is near Hamilton, even though at least some of them are Celts.

Hearts: You’ve got Cicero, you lucky people.

Hibernian: Easy, The Proclaimers.

Kilmarnock: Oooh not a clue. The closest I can get you is Biffy Clyro, since they are Ayrshire

Motherwell: The Delgados. Yay, an easy one. The Delgados even had Dougie Arnott on the cover of their The Weaker Argument Defeats The Stronger single.

Rangers: Sorry Rangers supporters, most of the folk I can think of that support the Gers are rubbish. Wet Wet Wet, Leon Jackson, some of Travis, David Sneddon, Lulu, Amy McDonald… You can have AC/DC.

St. Johnstone: Stuart Cosgrove used to write for the NME, that’s as good as I can think of, sorry!

St. Mirren: Struggling again. Well, there’s Paulo Nutini, who supports Celtic. Dougie Vipond? I’ll just put a band from Paisley for this one I reckon, so St Mirren fans, you get Marvel Heights.

Well, that was a lot less successful than I’d hoped, yet I’m still posting it. Now lets see how many people yell at me (I suspect none, since that would involve people reading me…)


  1. JC says:


    Get yourself down to Div 1 for real football.

    But here’s a few other suggestions.

    Celtic… has to be Simple Minds.

    Falkirk?? I’d have given them The Cocteau Twins as they more or less play in Grangemouth these days.

    Trashcan Sinatras are probably Kille fans given they’re from nearby Irvine and made loads of their early songs in a Killie studio.

    And surely Rangers have to have Ballboy thanks to his song ‘The Sash My Father Wore’ which I know led to at least one Hun buying the LP and no doubt spewing up as it played. (am I allowed to say Hun?? My wife believes its offensive….). Or if you want to be a wee bit nicer to them, give them any band that Alan McGhee has been associated with….he doesnt hide the fact that he’s a bluenose.

    Oh and my wee bible tells me that Fiction Factory, one-hit wonders from 1983, were Perth boys and could be given to St Johnstone.

    Oh and its a 19th Century footy-related word verification for this comment…..fowele

  2. Jim says:

    I still hold a grude against Raith Rovers y’know.
    Alan is a Bluenose, but the three Creation bands I think of first, Oasis, Primal Scream and Teenage Fanclub, all tend to lean more to the green side of the fence.

    That ballboy song made me do a double take the first time I picked up that album. Happily it wasn’t what I thought it was at first. As for Hun, I no tons of people of all persuasions that *don’t* find it offensive, but then there’s always those that do.

  3. Trashcan Sinatras, one of the few bands to come from my home town. Eddi Reader stayed in the town for a while but she wasn’t born there. I think Roddy Woomble might have been born in Irvine but he probably done the sesible thing and left as soon as he was out of the hospital gates. Would be nice to think that the Sinatras actually supported their local team, Irvine Meadow but I wuld hazard a guess that they, or at least some of them are Celtic fans.